Monster Mom

So this blog is supposed to be about what is right in the world... I don't think that I can put enough spin on this post to make it about something right in my world, unfortunately.

I am a monster mom. Or I should say, I become a monster mom on occasion. It has been a few months since it happened, but then tonight - it came back. It's the worst part of being a parent - the time when all you can do is provide an angry lecture that leaves everyone involved feeling low.

Even now, I just have to shake my head and wonder if kids are as resilient as them seem.

I keep telling myself, that I am not that person. I am not that mom, that monster that I just heard.

Today, this  post is all about what is not right in me.

Knowledge #1

I read and re-read scriptures about the importance of learning today... This is certainly something that hits home for me today.

I know that life does not come with a manual. Parenting does not come with one either. I think that the only way to get beyond the survival mode in either life or parenting is to learn your way through. Learn through reading, seeking knowledge from many sources, and finding things out through experience.

In Relief Society today, we sang "As I Search the Holy Scriptures". I listened to the words, as if for the first time... "may my hear be blessed with wisdom and may knowledge fill my mind... may life's mysteries be unfolded as I study day by day..."

Some of the scriptures that were included in this value experience talked about gospel learning - precept upon precept, line upon line. I think that is how all learning becomes knowledge. It is how knowledge becomes wisdom. This cannot be achieved with one experience or through only working on something one time. The way to gain knowledge and wisdom is to continually seek it.

Knowledge is what cannot be taken from us. It will be with us for eternity. It is important to seek the best knowledge, learning from many good sources. I am seeking that for myself and hopefully as a good example to my kids.

Faith # 2

I chose to work on the personal progress value experience number 2 under Faith because I happened to be on the train headed to work and was only carrying my Book of Mormon. This is one of the experiences that only referenced the Book of Mormon rather than other scriptures.

Perhaps it was more than that though; perhaps I needed a kick start to thinking about motherhood and faith.

I am not sure that I have taught my children like the mothers of the "stripling warriors". I need to focus on this because I want them both to have enough faith to be strong while facing the worldly temptations all around. The stripling warriors knew that the Lord would be with them. They knew because of the things that their mothers taught them.

The importance of a mother's role could never be so apparent as it is to me, on this day. I want my kids to believe like the stripling warriors did. I want my kids to know that I love the Lord and have faith that He is always with me - through the trials and the good times. I want them to know that the Lord can be with them too.

I know that I was guided to work on this particular value experience first for a reason. I know that was the influence of my Heavenly Father.

We believe...

I used to be able to memorize things easily, usually in a short time frame. I am disappointed that my brain does not function like that anymore.

I am still working on memorizing the 13th Article of Faith. Maybe once I get that down, I will feel inclined to write more.

Journals

Ok, so in my life I have probably started 10-12 journals. I say started because most of these only have a few entries. I haven't tried to maintain a journal for a long time, however I am working the the young women's personal progress program and it has several elements that require journaling.

I think this might be the only forum that allows me to journal on my terms. My terms being: extremely convenient, not terribly time-consuming and type-able. Is that a word?

Tomorrow there will be more, with a focus on personal progress.

New job

I am grateful for my current job, but very glad that I was offered a new job today. I will be taking it!

A 12 year old growing up

So, in a perfect world, kids would be pleasant and easy to raise... if you have children, you know that we are not in a perfect world. Today, however, I had a taste of what it might be like.

Two days ago I found that my daughter had create an account on Facebook. It was created a while ago, likely at the behest of a friend. It was created after months of discussion about following the rules, one of which was having to be at least 13 to have an account.

I knew that the disobedience needed to be addressed. I thought that the reaction would be a bit of a tantrum. I was pleasantly surprised that it was a calm, respectful discussion about the importance of following rules and telling the truth. The discipline didn't seem to phase her - a week without computer, limited time at her friend's house and (after the one week) only accessing the computer when I am there.

I am proud of Marion because she was able to handle a situation that has to be tough for her in a mature way.

Family

Last night I talked with Cheyla for about an hour. This morning I was able to chat with Daniel for a bit. Tonight, it was good conversation with Mom, Dad, and Uncle Steven.

I love the conversations I have with my family. We laugh, we tease, we cry, we push each other to see a different point of view, we are family.

Family is what's right in my world today.

Is there something right everyday?

Yes, I can find something right about everyday. It is a matter of what you are looking for...

Today I told my story to a group of women at a fundraising event for People Helping People. It is always great to see women supporting each other and those who are less fortunate.

People of Faith

Life without Limits was a presentation tonight - hosted by 60 evangelical churches on the Wasatch Front - Nick Vujicic spoke about treading water versus being able to walk on water in your relationship with God.

I love to see and feel the faith of others. I love that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints allowed this event to take place at the Tabernacle. I was impressed with the number of people in attendance and the number of volunteers that were directing people or ushering.

Faith, developing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. These are things that are right in the world today.

September 11th

Just to say "September 11th" conjures up images that are forever etched in the minds of all Americans. It was 8 years ago today and it is one of the dates that you remember where you were and what you were doing when you first heard about the terrorist attacks.

I was working at Waterford School, in the Dining Hall. I didn't believe it at first, like many others, but as the initial shock began to wear thin, I knew that the world would be forever changed.

Time has passed, life has gone on---

I look at the patriotism celebrated across the country on this day. I ponder the Healing Field of flags in Sandy. I see flags posted in front yards throughout the neighborhood. So, today I celebrate the people - firefighters, police men and women, members of the military, the everyday heros that stepped up at the moment they were needed.

To everyone around me I say, "these people are what's right in the world".

The power of a memory

Today I met with Special Agent Michael Price as a part of the ongoing investigation into Jeremy's death. As I pondered what to celebrate in this situation, I had to look long and hard. I waited. I thought. I prayed.

Then there it was - the memory of Jeremy jumping onto Dad's back as Dad searched the grass for a pair of lost earrings as the 4th of July party was wrapping up. It was classic Jeremy.

I cried as I reminisced with Dad about those moments, but they were happy tears. Or perhaps bittersweet tears. I love him, I miss him, but I am better off for having him in my life even if he is gone now.

I love you, Jeremy. I will celebrate your life and until we meet again, may God bless you where you are.

National Geographic

I went to a seminar last night. It ended with a presentation titled "Celebrate what's right in the world". I was inspired to do the same in my world, so this is the first post of what's right in my world.

Family - my family, specifically my parents. They are the best example of what is right in my world. They are supportive and understanding, willing to help anyone and everyone out.

One more time?

Whew, maybe I'll try this blogging thing again.